The story raised comments off people on social media sites as to how could people carry out such cruel acts, the terms "monster", "evil" and "sick" have been used to describe him. The general public have been utterly shocked by this horrendous, evil act. I too found the details painful to read, but like the 1 in 4 women who have suffered from domestic abuse, I also read the story and listened to Tina's interviews with a chilling sense of familiarity. Some of the things she described could have been written by me, or be many of the other women who have talked about their domestic abusive relationships .....but I was lucky I got out before it was too late.
Like Tina and all the other women who have suffered under the rule of an abuser, I stayed for too long in the hope that he would keep the charming side that also made appearances during the relationship, hoping he would change, get help, realise what he was doing. The nurturing side of me wanted to help him...but make no mistake these men cannot be helped. They have no consciences so they do no think like us. They are capable of anything, dangerous acts that we as decent, caring people with consciences could not even begin to comprehend.
Read any domestic abuse forum, news article etc and you will see a pattern, these abusive men are strikingly similar. Dennis Waterman admitted his ex wife Rula Lenska ....but it was not his fault. Shane Jenkin throttled Tina Nash while she was in bed and gauged her eyes out with his fingers whilst she was unconscious and she came round to him saying "Oh my god your eye is hanging out of your head" and "its' all your fault, I'm going to get years for this". He even tried to make up a ridiculous story about a group of women carrying out the attack on her. Abusers never take full responsibility for what they have done. It will always be the victims fault, or they may try for the diminished responsibility angle and claim to have been under the influence of drink, drugs, mental illness.
The terrible truth is that these abusive people know exactly what they are doing and are in full control of their actions. They can carry out these awful things because inside they are cold, not capable of real human emotion, they do not know how to love, they have no conscience and all they strive for is control over someone else. The first thing they do after committing one of these acts is to think of themselves - how will they look to the outside world?, what excuse can they make up for what they have done, how long will they have to go to prison for? how is this going to affect them? There is chillingly no sense of remorse or sympathy to the actual victim which is why it tellingly took 12 hours of pleading after the attack before Shane Jenkin allowed Tina's son to call for help. I have heard how abusers threaten to break their partners neck, get their hands round their throats, cover their partners mouth and nose to prevent them crying for help so that the only way out is to fake collapse so you don't actual suffocate....does the abuser then realise he has gone to far?.....No instead he will step over the collapsed woman on the floor maybe kicking her on the way past ....and leave the room...not once checking if she is OK. Only to then start again once the woman has come round saying "you can't keep making me this angry ", "this was all your fault", "look what you made me do". There may be a gap before the next attack where everything seems normal, but the statistics show that there will be a next time...and the attack will be worse than its previous one.
Tina is a brave and courageous woman who has faced challenges everyday since the attack, but inspiringly what is important to her now is to live her life to the full, look after her sons, raise domestic awareness and pass on the important message that can save lives:
IF YOU ARE IN A DOMESTIC ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, ASK FOR HELP AND GET OUT SAFELY, AND NEVER RETURN!!!! These relationships never get better, they always get worse, never under estimate what these people are capable of, they can cause unthinkable damage, destroy lives and kill (2 women a week die form domestic abuse). There is support out there ....if you suspect you are in a relationship like this please ask for advice. It could save your life. Once you have left the relationship BREAK ALL CONTACT........End the control and start to live a life that will be more rewarding and fulfilling whatever happens because you will be the person in control of it !
If you need help there are links to Womens Aid on my website. Make the change today xx