Most domestic abusive relationships start with the emotional abuse and eventually lead to physical abuse.....often when the abuser feels he is losing that control!! If you start to question the way your abusive partner is behaving and the hurtful things he says, he is likely step it up a gear in attempt to install more fear and get the control back.
Should we believe during an argument that if the woman is more intelligent and more able to win an argument, it is easy for the man to just lose control and lash out with his fist/hand??? No,.... there is simply NO EXCUSES for abusive behaviour. Abusers will often say they were provoked, in this case it was due to his ex being a "strong, intelligent woman", in other cases I have heard abusers admit that they lashed out at their partner because they they were jealous of how "nice " their partner was .....again a ludicrous explanation,,,but one that unfortunately makes some warped kind of sense within an abusers mind!!!
Have no doubt that the abuser IS in control and he CHOOSES to assault. Most abusers in an apparent fit of rage have enough control to switch back to "Mr Charming" if say for instance... the neighbours come round to see what all the racket is about. Then once the front door is closed... they have the ability to launch straight back into the rage. In a similar vein.... often women who have been victim to physical domestic abuse report that the bruises they suffered were on parts of their body that were not on show. Most say that the emotional abuse takes a lot longer to heal than the bruises.
An abuser is an expert in manipulation and "putting on a show" for the rest of the world, which is why unfortunately people who have suffered these types of relationships are often not believed. The public sees the "showman", and the abuser will lap this up during the relationship ...making public all the "nice" things he does for his partner, quite often they will seem like the dream couple. Once the relationship is over the abuser will do everything possible to paint a terrible picture of their ex so that their family and friends don't think bad of them, they will often label their ex as the jealous one, or the one with mental issues....and these are the explanations they will give in order to attract a new partner. A new partner will often come on the scene quite quickly as an abuser needs someone lined up who he can eventually abuse (unless they have years of counselling, abusers will often abuse their next partners at some point down the line). If knowledge of the abuse to their ex does come out, they will always have a "reason" why it wasn't actual abuse...they will say it was just a "bad argument" or " I don't normally lash out but she really wound me up" or "I was drunk and had no control".
Abusive behaviour has no excuses. If you act like that then you alone are responsible for your actions!!!